One Handed Bandit

A woman with only one available hand that works as a hairdresser. You often feel overwhelmed with fear that she'll do a crappy job, and frankly it ruins your day.

Jon: Hey Bill! How'd you like your haircut?
Bill: I dunno Jon, I had the damn one handed bandit working today...
Jon: Fuck...

4👍 7👎

In-Law Food

Food or other edible likings to which your In-laws have prepared, and being that fact, you don't want to try them without thinking of a horrendous event occuring.

Jon: Hey Bill! Did you try out her mac and cheese? It's Delish!
Bill: Na man, it's In-law food.
Jon: Damn... well, it doesn't taste that great anyways...

5👍 1👎

Zombie Log

A piece of fecal matter that, when entering the latrine, sinks down and then floats back up, as like a zombie rising from the dead.

Aww man, the toilet got plugged by my massive zombie log

8👍 2👎

Machine gun whore

A person, who in FPS video games, can't kill anyone with an average Joe's weapon, and hence forth has to run around with a noob gun with 100 rounds, health injectors, grenades and mortar strikes. This ruins everyone's day.

Jon (Over mic): Hey you fucking noob you! Quit being an Machine Gun Whore!!!
Bill: Why? So you can fucking kill me for once in your goddamn life? Forget it!

12👍 5👎