Driving Juice

Generally referring to a cold delicious malt beverage such as beer, or, in the alternative, a simple cocktail such as rum and cola. This term of irresponsibility is synonymous with road soda.

We're headed on a pretty good drive through the mountains to Lake Tahoe, so it's important we stock up on Driving Juice to keep the minds sharp!

Dub Cheesy

A double cheeseburger. Traditionally one from McDonald's; however, may be used with equal force at any establishment which provides its customers with the ever-delicious combination of two all-beef patties and a slice or two of "cheese".

Yeah, lemme get two apple pies, a large fry, a dub cheesy, and a coke. To go. Oh, and a cone.

Chipotlax

The active ingredient in America's favorite burrito that leads to guaranteed digestive regularity in some 8-12 hours after ingestion.

Side effects initially include diaphoresis (profuse sweating), intestinal discomfort, mild flatulence, and sense of impending doom, once Chipotlax has achieved successful evacuation of gastrointestinal obstruction these side effects subside leaving the patient in a state of intense, often euphoric, relief with a slight but bearable feeling of inflammation or burning at the anal site. In some cases, Chipotlax has been known to cause addiction disorder driving some individuals to a marked dependency on burritos and guacamole. While burrito-dependency is common, researchers believe its effects to be benign, especially when weighed against the lasting gastrointestinal benefits associated with appropriate dosage levels of Chipotlax. Chipotlax is not for everyone. Actually, nevermind; it is. Consult your physician before ordering a burrito bowl, he or she would probably like you to pick one up for them as well, since you’re already going that way anyways.

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Ice Diarrhea

When using the automatic ice dispenser on one's refrigerator, typically after frustration at no results, the sudden burst of an unnecessarily gross number of cubes all at once, often accompanied by an excessive amount of ice shards.

While attempting to make an evening cocktail, my glass was overcome by a sudden bout of "ice diarrhea." There were ice shards everywhere!

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Pedophile Lumberjack

A professional man, who, in the course of his daily duties, dons shorts with high-top work boots and white crew socks.

If I wore sneakers with my shorts I wouldn't look like a "Pedophile Lumberjack;" the public would be grateful.

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