Bumped the kerb

When you are doing the business with the mrs and your purple headed battering ram exits the pink and enters the stink at speed!

Bloody hell Ben! I was nailing the mrs last night and bumped the kerb She went apeshit! Thought I'd broke my knob in half!

Kicked over trifle

A minge that is in no way pleasing to the eye!

Hey Dave, did you get in that girls pants the other night?
Yeah, she could suck a golf ball through a garden hose, but her snatch looked like a kicked over trifle!