Clam Burglar

Clam Burglar:

(Cl-am Berg-ger-lar)

1. Noun: An aggressive lesbian

2. Verb: To grab a lady by the pussy

3. Noun: A thief who steals exclusively clams from a seafood market or Red Lobster

John Doe: “Hey. That’s definitely a Clam Burglar over there in the Peanutbutter Hair Cut and hairy armpits.

Jim Doe: “Nah homes…. That’s Crystal…She just likes to weed eight times a day….”

Family

(see also: parents)

1) An imaginary concept invented by adults, who use the excuse of 'blood relation' to explain why a: you must have their permission for everything you do, b: you must always love them more than you love anybody else, and c: everything they do to ruin your life is 'for your own good.'

2) The name you give to the people whose house you live in until you can afford not to.

3) What it's called when two people have a baby and then proceed to stake a permanent claim on anything and everything to do with that child's life from conception until death based on the idea that just because he or she came out of their private parts that gives them the right and obligation to be a part of their life forever.

4) A contract made between two generations when the younger generation receives allowance, food, and bedding and the older generation receives complete and total power over the younger and the right and ability to completely ruin their lives whenever beneficial to them.

1. Ex. "YES you have to come on this week-long trip with us; you're a part of this family!"

2. Ex. "Let's go to your house; I'd rather you not have to put up with my family."

3. Ex. "You will respect us because we are your family!"

4. Ex. "You will do this because that's what it means to be in this family."

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Teenager

A young person who should not be treated like a stereotype, a child, or an adult, because he or she is neither. Instead, a person should treat a teenager like they have no idea what the word 'teenager' means or implies and thereby approach them with no preconceptions at all, basing their interaction on how said teenager acts or reacts. Never treat more than one teenager in the same way because they are all teenagers and thereby predictable. Teenagers are nothing more than people and should be treated as such; hence, individuals whom you could stand to learn more about before judging.

A woman walks in on her husband playing a video game to cool off after a long day at work. "Stop being such a teenager!" she yells.

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