Gatlinburg

A small city in eastern Tennessee that has become a tourist mecca. Every year, millions of stupid fat people from Ohio move to clog the streets of Gatlinburg, ambling down the main street to gorge themselves on fudge, funnel cakes, cotton candy, corn dogs, and make fun of the locals. They visit the local saltwater aquarium, which makes perfect sense because it's, you know, landlocked. They completely ignore the national park and instead buy cheap airbrushed T-shirts and get married in cheesy drive-through wedding chapels. At the height of tourist season Gatlinburg holds all the charm of Times Square the morning after New Year's Eve.

1) Gee, honey, I'm feeling my I.Q. creep up again. Better fix that. I think it's time for another family trip to Gatlinburg!
2) Look at this cheap, useless crap I bought in Gatlinburg!

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