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A Cool Cock Sock is a solo sex move. Performing it only requires 3 simple steps.
1. Masturbate, and cum into a sock. Save for later.
2. Masturbate again later into the same sock.
3. As you cum the second time, enjoy the refreshing coolness of your previous cum on your cock.
*Repeat steps 2 and 3 as many times as desired.
Thus is the Cool Cock Sock.
This move is useful for long porn-viewing sessions, when multiple masturbations are necessary.
Person 1: "Dude, I jerked off 3 times in a row last night watching lesbian porn."
Person 2: "Damn man, your cock must be sore!"
Person 1: "Nah man, I used a Cool Cock Sock, I feel great!"
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Verb.
The act of waiting until someone pulls out of a good parking spot near the store or destination, then taking their spot as soon as they pull out; thus eliminating other people's chances to take that spot. Mostly takes place when you notice a car about to leave. Very useful in places such as malls and department stores.
Passenger: "Hey, do you see any spots open near WalMart?"
Driver: "No, but there's someone with their tail-lights on, let's poach their spot."
Passenger: "Epic!"
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Used in the popular cartoon shorts featuring Dr. Tran, a Cack is any store. There is a Super Cack, where the talking gum-obsessed chicken buys slacks; and Toy Cack where Grandma Norma takes Leland and Dr. Tran after running over many, many little boys.
Announcer: "Toy Cack, 30,000 locations worldwide! Open 'til 10 PM!"
Hotel Soap: "Everything's Fucking Wonderful!"
"Take off your top and get killed by Greg Kinnear!"
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A word used to describe anything of awesomeness; whatever you want it to mean. It is in the "public denial but private use" stage of a popular word or phrase; meaning that it has become too popular, leading hypocrites everywhere to dramatically overreact to its use with shouts of "ohhhh, it's SOOOO overused" and likewise, although they still use the word themselves.
Person 1: "Dude, I was (gaming, playing a sport, fucking someone, taking a shit, climbing a telephone pole, eating a baby, etc.) and it was so epic!"
Hypocritical asshole: "Epic is so overused..."
Meanwhile, back at the ranch...
Hypocritical asshole: "Dude, that was epic!"
Person 1 (overhears): "Fuckin' hypocritical asshole."
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When a nice Baptist girl waits until her wedding night to have sex, only to find that her hymen has solidified and her nice Baptist boy is unable to penetrate her. After the embarrassment, awkwardness, and doubt subsides, she is forced to go have a doctor surgically "pop her cherry." This concludes the Baptist First Time.
*Any form of conservative dogma that is cuckoo about premarital sex can be substituted for Baptist.
Nice Baptist Boy's Friend: "Yo dude, your wife was a virgin, right? That's hot! How was she?"
Nice Baptist Boy: "We had a Baptist First Time. She was un-enter-able."
Nice Baptist Boy's Friend: "Ouchhhh. That's balls, man."
Nice Baptist Boy: "Yeah, the doctor got to have all the fun."
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