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A gay man- someone who avoids cunts.
"How come all those girls are hanging around Paul?"
"Didn't you know, he's a cunt dodger, and they're his fag hags."
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The Mitchell Brothers (Grant and Phil) were two characters from the TV show Eastenders, who were bald.
So when a large-chested girl has a low-cut top, her breasts can resemble the tops of the heads of the Mitchell Brothers, so it looks like she's smuggling them in her top.
"Check that girl's tits out! They're huge! It looks like she's smuggling the Mitchell Brothers!"
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In a word- masturbating.
"Sorry, I can't come out tonight, I'm busy; I'm relaxing the gentleman's way."
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