toothy starfish

An asshole so full of hemorrhoids and/or anal warts that when you insert your penis into it, you feel more like you're receiving a toothy blow.

"Tom, why does your dick look like it went through a meet grinder?"
"Because I took the dirt path and to my horror she had a fucking toothy starfish!"
"Shit. Rest in peace Tom's dick. Rest in peace."

rusted cougar

A cougar that is visually and sexually repulsive. Rusted cougars are usually missing teeth or have bodies that have been worn down by age.

I can't believe Joe hooked up with that broad last night...she was definitely a rusted cougar.

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