tearing the carpet out of the closet

When a queer woman performs oral sex on a straight girl.

I wish I could go on dates with women who know they're into women. Until then I guess I'm just stuck tearing the carpet out of the closet.

hook and ladder

The act of inserting one's finger (maximum of two) into a vaginal or anal opening, before cramming as much fist or forearm in as the cavity will accept.

I thought she was going slow, but then Kelsey hook and laddered me and now I'm crazy sore.