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I just had explosive diarrhea in the urinal!
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Literally means inflammation of the wee wee. Can be used to describe a dick under 4 inches that is hard or when you notice you get a boner for the first time and you google "my wee wee is hard". The cure to this condition is to beat it with a meat tenderizing mallet until white wee wee juice comes out, hence the term "beat your meat". But be careful. If you spill any in your undies, you'll have to ask your mommy for a new pair.
Kid: (Googles "I have a hard wee wee!!!")
Google: You have weeweeitis