Loom Raider

A person who has a predisposition for causing accidents that ruin carpets, rugs and upholstery.

By lucky coincidence, the frantic tidying and commotion caused by the Loom Raider's upset often unearths items that have long since been thought lost. In student digs this will most commonly include lighters, money, weed/hash and other artifacts of (some) value.

Crash! Glug, glug, glug..
Loom Raider: "Oh, man. I'm so sorry. Why is it always me?"
Owner: "Because you're a klutz."
L.R.: "I'll help tidy up.. hmm.. what's this?"
Owner: "OMG! It's Emma's number! I thought I'd lost it! Haha! You're a Loom Raider! OK, you're off the hook.. I hope she hasn't forgotten me.. (etc.)"

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Ambisextrous

1. Someone who practices no sexual discrimination whatsoever.
2. The property of being equally gifted at pleasuring with either hand.
3. Bisexual.

Celia proved she was truly ambisextrous when she made Peter and Polly orgasm simultaneously.

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Stick of Gimmon

Any object used to punish the village idiot during a gimmoning.

Upon hearing the shout of "fetch the Stick of Gimmon!" Roderick grabbed the toilet brush and ran towards the screams.

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Jacking Up

Watching '24'.

"Where's Toby?"

"He's not coming out; he's too busy jacking up. That's 19 hours straight, man. I think he's got a problem.."

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gimmoning

Punishing the local idiot.

This often occurs at set times, be they specific dates or times of day, depending on the location. The ritualistic hounding of the fool is steeped in history but enjoyed today by many societies.

Traditional cries such as "Fetch the Stick of Gimmon!" and "To the gimmoning pond!" would rally villagers, townspeople or housemates to the cause, and idiocy would know shame, fear, pain and spanktignation in roughly that order.

Rohypnotist

One who uses Rohypnol to induce a 'trance'.

"Look into my eyes, not around my eyes, here, have a drink, you're under" said Ray the Evil Rohypnotist.

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spanktignation

The impotent fury beheld by anyone who has been spanked by someone much bigger than they are. Usually accompanied by a tingling sensation in the nose and thoughts of murderous vengance.

The village idiot trembled in righteous spanktignation after his session with the Stick of Gimmon.