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A meeting or party where the people all lack charisma and banter.
Greg: How was the Christmas party last night?
Terence: It was shit mate, total dry lunch convention.
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Blowing all the air out of your lungs and tensing your abs as tightly as possible, to the point that you can barely speak. This is generally done at pool parties or the beach, in order to look like your waist is smaller and your body fat is lower than it actually is. This is particularly used by shirtless people when a photo is being taken of them or when their crush is nearby.
Greg: Dude do you want a beer
Terry (in a quiet, strained voice): Dude I can't talk, Jenny is over there so I'm pulling a tactical ab tense.
A fictional worldwide organisation that all numpties belong to. Membership is honorary and non-numpties are not permitted to join.
John: Why can't these fools ever get my food order right?
Greg: Numpty Crew mate.
Short in penis, long of himself. An ironic and savage diss used to describe high earning, arrogant stockbrokers and traders who think they are cool and clever because they describe everything in terms of trading positions i.e. long and short. These douchebags are oblivious to the fact that everyone hates them, including colleagues who are forced to pander to them only because they make a lot of money for the company.
Generic Wanker Banker: 'Hey baby, I'm massively long your fine ass.'
Betty: 'Doris I think that guy is trying to chat you up.'
Doris: Yeh I'm choosing to ignore him, he's gross and siploh asf.
The modern day snake oil - bullshit products sold online. Most commonly seen via social media as overly long video adverts promising to teach you the best method to make millions on Amazon or Shopify. That method is almost always the same: sell ebooks or courses that teach people how to make millions on Amazon or Shopify.
Annoying Shitsack: "2 years ago I was in huge debts, now I make millions a month on Amazon, buy my $2000 course to find out how."
Peter: "YouTube, will you please fuck off with these snoilnet adverts."