blowing your own trumpet

Auto fellatio. Sucking your own penis.

John's in his bedroom blowing his own trumpet.
Are you big enough to be capable of blowing your own trumpet?

28👍 41👎

talent scout

Noun. A man (usually) who is constantly on the look out for attractive young women or 'talent' to conquer.

Cate: Watch out for him. He's the local talent scout.

10👍 4👎

bovril barcode

Brown stains left down the back of underpants after a badly wiped crap, in other words skidmarks.

MUM: Ya ought ta learn ta wipe yer arse better, Bruno. Ya left a serious bovril barcode on yer white pants.