Armistead

A big fat crab that will probe you and steal your prostate and dump you into hydrochloric acid.

Some student - "Hey Armistead have you done the attendance yet?"
Armistead - "ARGH Sh*t Mariel!!!"

albridge

The Abridge will surely be the savior of the White race. When the Albridge Gate is opened, the steads will be unleashed at their full power and glory. When these Prosto Steads are released, big fat helicopter blades forcefully burst out of their backs, protruding noticeably and slapping the air loudly and obnoxiously. They will strive to be like Darth Wader, collecting all the big black prostate bags from Albridge and swinging them around in the sky with their mind powers. Then, comes the chemical prostate bombings. These big black bags will fall from the skies like a Jizz rain, and will eliminate all the intended targets. All Pure Whites will be spared, but the chemicals are highly toxic toward the crazy monkeys, the crazy, crazy monkeys. The skies will be filled with a great choir of airborne, aerodynamic crabs repeatedly chanting, "Shit Mariel! Shit Mariel!", and all the wives and concubines will be sent up! The steads will throw pencils at the helachinks and it will fly way over their heads! The air will be filled with the sweet scent of fresh prostates, and tons of prostates will be suspended in the air in a sort of freefall, and the steads will stare at those prostates with a passionate intent, their mouths wide open, drippling with visible strands of white, slimy saliva. Is this event mentioned in the Old Testament, or the New Testament?? Who knows, but it will certainly be a beautiful day, on the day it does happen...

Person #1: "Ummmmm what happened, why are there fresh dripping prostates everywhere, and no monkeys anywhere??"
Person #2: "The Albridge Gate has just opened, welcome to the brand new nation, the Oppressed People of Chinkistead!"