hair weasel

The wad of hair and pubes that collects in the shower drain. Absolutely should be removed after every shower.

Son of a bitch, do you ever clean your tub? That hair weasel's so big, it looks like a small dog napping in there.

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Oprapology

An insincere, public apology given by a celebrity to the world via an Oprah Winfrey interview. It can last anywhere from 2-3 hours and usually involves crying, hugs, pleas to fans to understand, excuses, justifications, promises to not let us down again, etc. The intent of the Oprapology is not to actually apologize, but to seek Oprah's blessing for forgiveness and salvage an already-ruined reputation.

Lance Armstrong gave an Oprapology for using performance-enhancing drugs to build a successful international cycling career, and for adamantly lying about it for years.

brown mommy

A maid or nanny-- typically of Latin American descent-- to whom rich, lazy Anglo women outsource most or all of their parenting duties.

"I’m so sorry I made you work on Christmas, but the kids kept crying for 'brown mommy.'"

(Drunk, wealthy white lady to her maid-- from the "My Name Is Earl" episode, "Friends with Benefits")

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