Bar

To a married man:
An overcrowded, loud, stinky room filled with over-priced drinks and women advertising body parts that you have vowed to not touch.

To a single man:
The greatest place on earth.

Single man: Dude, let's hit up the bars!
Married man: No.
Single man: Bars have drinks and drunk women!
Married man: I have a wife.
Single man: Wooooo, bars!

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