Numberwang

The rules are fairly simple but the process for finding NumberWang is nearly impossible. The process for finding NumberWang used to take hours and hours to find because the formula was an entire 1400 page text book. Now, finding NumberWang is simple. You say a number that you think is NumberWang and the NumberWang Robot, Coloson, will answer for you. However during the early 1960's apearance of Coloson on TV, Coloson decided to take over the world and said "I am NumberWang, The world is NumberWang, therefore I am the world!" The makers of Coloson, who forsaw this event, installed a fail-safe. The only way to stop Coloson was to show it a picture of a chicken. Now Coloson is kept in the basement of the BBC TV Center. NumberWang is now a world phenomonon. It is on Austrailian TV, New Zealand TV and even American TV where instead of saying "Thats NumberWang!!" they say "Yes, That is a number..."

{first TV NumberWang}
Host: Good Evening and welcome to a new piece of enlessness which we're calling, NumberWang.
Miss. Julia...

Julia: 7

Host: We'll just have to check that with the Boffins. Was that NumberWang?

Boffin 1: It'll take a few hours im afraid...

Host: Well, In the mean time, some music (hums British National Anthem)

{Later TV NumberWang}

Host Robert Robinson: Ahhh, Hello hello, welcome to NumberWang with me Robert Robinson and the worlds first commercial NumberWang solving computer, Coloson

Coloson: I AM COLOSON

Host Robert Robinson: Indeed you are, Round one will begin. Miss Julia to play first

Julia: 7

Host Robert Robinson: Could it be NumberWang? Coloson?

Coloson: NO

Host Robert Robinson: Ahh, would that it were NumberWang alas it is not.

{Even Later less boring NumberWang}

Host: Round 2, Fish Numbers! Julia?

Julia: EEL-even

Host: Lets ask Coloson... Where's he gone? Oh my God, Coloson's lose!

Coloson: I AM COLOSON, I AM NUMBERWANG, THE WORLD IS NUMBERWANG, THEREFORE I AM THE WORLD! YOU MUST ALL DIE! I AM COLOSON, I AM NUMBERWANG, THE WORLD IS NUMBERWANG! (sees picture of a chicken) I OBEY!

(Today's NumberWang)

Host: Hi and welcome to the maths game that simply everyones talking about! Julia any pets?

Julia: no

Host: ok, Simon?

Simon: yes

Host: great! Any hobbies?

Julia: yes

Simon: no

Host: exellent! Lets play NumberWang!! Julia you start.

Julia: 11

Simon: 25

Julia: 67

Simon: 23

Host: THATS NUMBERWANG!! Round 2, Simon.

Simon: 45

Julia: 14

Simon: 90

Julia: 98

Host: THATS THE NUMBERWANG BONUS! Lets Rotate the board!
(the 2 contestants turn around on a turn table and some abstract thing like a news caster behind a desk or a dentist pulling someones teeth out is on the other side)

Host: Right! Lets play WangerNumb! Julia.

Julia: 19
(host shakes his head)
Simon:16
(host shakes his head)
Julia: 12
(host shakes his head)
Simon: 4
(host looks anxious)
Julia: 4
(host looks more anxious)
Simon:4
(host looks even more anxious)
Julia: (slight hesitation) 4?

Host:OOO! you've just been WangerNumbed! Now Simon gets a new car and you get beaten with an aluminium bat! (woman in sparkely dress comes from behind the turn table and starts hitting Julia with an aluminium bat.) Thanks for Watching NumberWang!

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