MatchDotMom

A helicopter mother who continually gives out your number to random men or women in an effort to take you out of the dating pool and online mess.

Daughter: "Mom!!! Will you stop!! I have to change my number again now cause of these old ass creepers!!"

MatchDotMom: "Sweetie..this one was cute AND employed!! I JUST WANT GRANDCHILDREN!!"

4👍 2👎

EX-DOUCHEBAND

A man you married because you loved him and thought he loved you back. Until he suffered a mid-life crisis and met someone cuter, skinnier, richer or hornier and decides to dump you off in another state without support, cuts off your alimony and sleeps with your best friend on the down low.

Sophia "Hey girl, why you lookin so depressed the last few months? Come out dancinggg with us!!"

Heather "OMG Sophie, IDK..I wish I could afford it, but working these 3 jobs has got me exhausted..."

Sophia "Girrrrl....this is all cause of your EX-DOUCHEBAND Remind me never to get married..."

44👍 7👎