gay job

The job that you do for money, but that you don't like, because it's gay.

Chris: Sorry I have to leave so early. I gotta wake up in 6 hours for my gay job.

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Scrawn

the latest trend in unhealthy thin-ness; thinner than waif

Mike: Man, that ultra-waif model could use a sandwich. I can see her collarbone from 100 feet away.

Shawn: Dude, you ever banged a bony chick? The pain of slamming a bony ass and having those hip bones cut into your abdomen adds to the pleasure of the pork. I dig Scrawn.

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unified field theory

1) an as-yet-undiscovered theory unifying many scientific field theories into one understanding of how the universe operates

2) something unattainable, much as finding an actual unified field theory has baffled scientists for decades

Einstein spent the last two decades of his life trying to develop a unified field theory.
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Person 1: John keeps asking Sarah out, but she's not biting.
Person B: She's his unified field theory. Ain't gonna happen.

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You're tearing me apart, Lisa

An expression used to indicate that someone is making a big deal out of nothing. Stolen from a line of dialogue in a bad movie, Tommy Wiseau's "The Room".

Megan: So, Will. We need to talk. It may not be important to you, but the cap on a toothpaste tube should have a tight seal. If it does not, then bacteria can manifest itself in the paste, not to mention the cap coming off and squirting toothpaste onto my clothes.

Will: (holding his head in his hands and screaming) You're tearing me apart, Lisa!

Megan: Who's Lisa?

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TBS very funny

not funny at all (so-named due to all of the un-funny shit promoted as "TBS very funny")

Megan: Hey, did you see 'The Ugly Truth'? That Gerard Butler is very funny.

Will: You mean "TBS very funny". Remember, I saw that with you. And I've pretty much blocked it from memory it was so bad. And the balloon sequence at the end had the worst green screen ever. And why can't he stop making movies for just 5 minutes. He was in three movies this month, for Christ's sake. Maybe he should die. THAT would be funny.

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gayer than a pink flute

adj. Very gay. An out-gayer of gay people. Flaming homosexuals look at you and say "OMG. That dude is G-A-Y!"

Kenny Chesney is gayer than a pink flute. Super cute. Too bad I hate country music.

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time to make the donuts

Time to go to work. Applies generally, to any task/activity. Or, to leave home for one's place of employment. Usually expressed in a dreary, I'd-really-rather-stay-home-and-masturbate kinda way.

Man kisses wife as he grabs his keys. "Time to make the donuts."

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