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Beyond hopeless. Approx. 0 percent chance of success. Despairingly bleak outlook.
Your chances of getting with Natalie Portman are infinitely dismal.
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Feldspar is the name of the main character in the novel "Feldspar's Deathbox". He is a disturbed schizophrenic driven by his demons to "find God". Tireless but not very intelligent, he drags his scar-coated avatar through the wastelands of his imagination to complete his quest.
My 2nd greatest fear is that I am like Feldspar. My first greatest fear is that I am not.
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