small boobs envy

(Noun)
The envious feeling a woman experiences when she wishes she had smaller, perkier breasts. Commonly remarked upon when one woman is caught glimpsing at another woman's breasts with a look of envy.

Woman 1: "Ugh, I wish I had your small boobs!"
Woman 2: "Small boobs envy? I know."

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Karen

An older woman who behaves like an older man.

Barista 1: Ugh this old lady wants me to remake her drink order because I accidentally used soy instead of almond milk.
Barista 2: She should just shut up and accept it. What a Karen.

cup

Contraption for
Uncomfortable
Protection

Real Guy: "I can't believe we have to wear a cup for sports."
Girl pretending to be guy: "Yeah...me neither."

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Sean Connery Syndrome

When a man believes that his physical attractiveness is in unaffected by age. Syndrome sufferers often repeat the word "distinguished" and cite Sean Connery as an example, hence the syndrome name. Afflicted men fail to recognize that the allure of Connery's celebrity status does not apply to them. Plus no woman age 35 or younger would ever want today’s Sean Connery to sexually touch her now. Cures for this syndrome include looking into a mirror and psychoanalysis to break down their deep refusal to acknowledge reality.

Man A: That brunette won't lock eyes with me. I'm gonna get closer.

Man B: Her? She is half your age.
Man A: What are you talking about? My distinguished looks can bag that!
Man B: Dude, you got some chronic Sean Connery Syndrome. I'll be over here when she has the bartender send you away.

hemotion

noun| hee • mo • shun

The emotional reaction a male has when he expresses a feeling for which there is no factual basis.

Male A: “Dude, check out the sweet tits on that chick over there!”
Male B: “Nice bro! But uh gross. There’s some lady breastfeeding her baby right next to her. Disgusting!”
Male A: “Dude. That doesn’t make any sense. You gotta check those hemotions.”

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Prude

Pronunciation | prood

Noun
1. Yet another slur directed mostly towards women that complains about how often she does or does not have sex.

Man A: Did you hear Jennifer had sex with Steve after the party? What a slut!
Man B: For real man? And I wasted my whole night with that prude Amanda who wouldn’t even give me handy?!

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yarncake

An extremely attractive man who will cuddle you while crocheting you a cardigan.

Woman 1: Becky did you check out Eugene at The Frayed Knot today?
Woman 2: You know I did Susan. That tasty yarncake can finger crochet me any day.