telecommoding

An office bathroom strategy where a person commutes to a bathroom on another floor or building to dispense of solid waste with the desire of not being recognized by co-workers if the session become foul and disgusting. Some who work in a place with limited bathroom choices may elect to drive home to use the bathroom. See shitbreak.

“I just stopped by your desk and didn’t see you there.” “Sorry sir. I just returned from telecommoding at accounting. I didn’t want to be seen removing the glaze from the toilets on our floor.”

Seat meat

Another way of referring to the ass.

Honey, instead of the usual vaginal play this evening, I would like to break one off in your seat meat.