telecommoding

An office bathroom strategy where a person commutes to a bathroom on another floor or building to dispense of solid waste with the desire of not being recognized by co-workers if the session become foul and disgusting. Some who work in a place with limited bathroom choices may elect to drive home to use the bathroom. See shitbreak.

“I just stopped by your desk and didn’t see you there.” “Sorry sir. I just returned from telecommoding at accounting. I didn’t want to be seen removing the glaze from the toilets on our floor.”

Telecommoding

Telecommoding: adv. The act of sitting on the toilet for an extended period of time looking at your cell phone. Verb. Telecommode.

#1. I thought my son left the house, but it turned out he was telecommoding for the last half hour. #2. During the COVID-19 shelter in place order, people have been doing a lot of telecommoding.