phascist

(n.) An obsessive phanatic of the jam band Phish who becomes offended, enraged, or irritated by anyone who is not obsessed with Phish or similar jam bands, such as the String Cheese Incident. These fans may even turn violent in some cases, grabbing critics of Phish by the collar and threatening to "kick the shit out" of them. Most phascists are actually young and attend middle school or high school, as most wiser, more mature Phish phans should know that listening to Phish and then threatening to punch some one is hypocritical, to say the least. Phascist will usually refuse to believe anything negative about their favorite jam band, and are often ex-"punks" or ex-"metalheads" that somehow believe Phish has "rock" or "punk" connections (Apparently, this is to make it appear that Phish is not the hippie band that it is stereotyped .)
Any Phish phan that smokes PCP or does any drugs harder than acid is probably a phascist. Yes, it sounds strange, but phascists do indeed exist. Beware.

Phascist: "Yo, this Phish song is the phuckin' shit, man."
Some Guy With Hemorrhoids: "Yeah, it's alright, I guess."
Phascist: "WHAT THE PHUCK DO YOU MEAN, 'IT'S ALL RIGHT?!!' ARE YOU PHUCKING OUTTA YER MIND, YOU PHUCKING PIECE O' SHIT?!! IT'S THE PHUCKING SHIT, MAN!! IT'S THE PHUCKIN' SHIT!!! GET THE PHUCK OUTTA MY CAR, YOU PHUCKIN' GAY MOTHERPHUCKER!!!"

Another Phascist: "Yo, this song is phuckin' rockin', dude. This song is phuckin' phunky as shit, y'know."
Another Guy With Hemorrhoids: "I don't know, I always have trouble listening to Phish on a CD player. They're so much better live."
Phascist (Grabs Hemorrhoid Guy and throws him up against wall): "WHAT THE PHUCK DID YOU JUST SAY, YOU PHUCKIN ASSHOLE PUSSY!! YOU GOT SOMETHING TO SAY ABOUT PHISH, YOU MOTHERPHUCKER?!! I'LL KICK YOU'RE PHUCKING ASS!!!"

Last Guy With Hemorrhoids: "Yo, did you guys hear that one of those hippie Phish dudes got beat up by Hell's Angels for taking suggestive pics of a little girl?"
Phascist: "NO!!! THAT NEVER HAPPENED!! THAT NEVER PHUCKIN' HAPPENED!! THAT'S A PHUCKIN' LIE!! YOU PHAGGOT, I'LL KICK YOUR ASS!! THAT NEVER HAPPENED, YOU PHORGET THAT HAPPENED, YOU HEAR ME?!! I SWEAR TO GOD, I AM GOIN' TO PHUCK YOU UP!!!"

66👍 8👎