eyetometrist

Slang or redneck for optometrist. A eye doctor that checks a person's eyesight to see if they need corrective lenses.

I went to my eyetometrist and got my eyes checked; they said I need glasses.

Cardpal Tunnel

A painful phenomenon in the hands and/or wrists of a person, which is created by holding paying cards too long or by holding too many playing cards. This is the same phenomenon as carpal tunnel syndrome except it is caused strictly by playing cards.

Example of use in a sentence: I had to pickup the whole discard pile and holding all these cards for so long is giving me cardpal tunnel.