Work Apnea

(n): A condition that plagues the majority of people who have to work for a living. Symptoms include: staring profusely at nothing, forgetting to breathe, slow responding vision, and complete lethargy. Cures for this condition include: Vacation, Holidays, Fake Sick Days, Closing time, Weekends, and Jack Daniels. This condition is highly contagious and is usually spread during lunch meetings.

"Why is Holly sitting there drooling on herself?" "I think she caught the Work Apnea last night!"

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Whaff

(v.) The act of fanning putrid smells/fumes towards an unsuspecting individuals nostrils. This action is typically performed in the presence of spouses or significant others.

Damnit baby.... don't whaff the dogs fart this way!! Whats wrong with you?

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