Libertarian

A philosophy held by people who fundamentally fail to grasp that human beings are social animals.

Libertarianism is not to be confused with Objectivism, a philosophy espoused mostly by privileged 18-year olds who believe that a toddler's "Mine!" phase is the best time of his life and should therefore be encouraged in adults as well.

You might be a Libertarian if:

1. You believe that over 200 years of economic regulations were put in place just for the heck of it.

2. You believe that roads and bridges build themselves, or that water is safe to drink by default.

3. You believe, for reasons known only to God, that living in a country virtually devoid of governance, such as Somalia, is preferable to living in a country with strong government oversight, such as Sweden.

4. You believe that the wealthy and successful built their success from literally nothing, with no help from taxpayer-funded infrastructure, police, firemen, schools, military protection, investment in science, etc., and so by this logic taxes are a form of "stealing".

5. You would prefer that citizens be controlled and dominated by large corporations over which they have no control than a single government over which they have at least some control.

6. You believe that profit motives can in no way conflict with the public good. For example, you believe that privately run prisons with a profit motive will naturally focus on rehabilitation and minimizing recidivism, because they totally want to reduce the prison population for some reason.

7. You believe that people living in a country in which they have to work two or more dead-end jobs just to make ends meet are free just because those same people would hypothetically pay less taxes if they magically got rich.

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Ted Cruz

1.) A power-hungry dimwit who suffers under the smug delusion that becoming popular with a fringe movement loathed by the vast majority of Americans is going to land him in the Oval Office one day.

2.) Another way of saying the Dunning-Kruger effect. As in, "the Ted Cruz effect", whereby someone who is utterly incompetent is so profoundly detached from reality that they perceive themselves as being vastly more competent than they actually are, precisely because of how incompetent they are.

Ted Cruz: "Hi, I'm Ted Cruz! I'm running for president and I want to do away with Obamacare, the EPA, and basically all progress made over the last 60 years!"

Everyone else: "Wait... weren't you born in Canada?"

Ted Cruz: "Well... we'll let other people sort that out!"

Everyone else: "Uh... No, we won't. You're a Tea Tard dumbass who wants to become president, and you can't legally become president in any case. You will never, ever, sit in the Oval Office."

Ted Cruz: "Well I think that those Confederate flag-waving old white folks out there might say differently!"

Everyone else: "We're done here."

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