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Austin Bro

The bro unicorn. The safest and best of all bros.

Austin bros have money, but not too much money (or they would never want you to feel uncomfortable with their net worth). They enjoy pools, 4 to 6 weeks of vacation a year, mid sized SUVs with aggressive off-road capabilities with a car wash membership close by. But they are also anti-historical bro — they don’t care for sports, hate fraternities, don’t bang loud obnoxious angry music, respect women, drink responsibly, not in good ol boy clubs, don’t care about clothing brands (as long as it’s the brands they care about), didn’t go to upper end colleges, don’t wear axe all the times but only on the most special of occasions.

This is the safest version of a bro that exisits. These are loyal bros. Great husband and dad material, masters on the grill and smoker, and excel at odd hobbies like fly fishing and urban gardening.

Austin bro vehicles:
4Runner TRD’s (usually blacked out)
Ford Broncos (2” lift)
Sometimes f150’s (if they have boats)

Austin bro wardrobe:
Howler brothers

Vuori

Levi’s

Surf brands

Austin bro can defined through a Saturday morning text: Hey Bro, bring the kids over poolside today. I’m throwing a brisket on and I brought some IPA’s back from our trip out west.

by CousinToAnAustinBro July 2, 2022