Swinging Voter

1. Lazy and apathetic, every four years the fate of a nation hangs in their hands. A voter with no strong political affiliation, usually due to ignorance or a worldview dominated by an all pervading awareness of their own self-interest.

2. Typically, such individuals will make an excellent argument against democracy. Their grasp of political issues will quickly convince you.

Rory: "I'm a swinging voter I suppose...but, Oh No! I forgot to register to vote!"
Everyone else: *Loud Cheering*

2👍 2👎

Dick Cheney

An individual who epitomises every famous flaw of modern America: Ignorance, blind-nationalism, unrestrained self-interest, and a strong bias towards violence when tackling any problem.

Of course, Dick Cheney is only a mythical figure. No one could really be that bad! He often appears in children's Theatre, where he is traditionally booed by the audience every time he comes on stage.

In popular culture, the character of Dick Cheney is often used to personify everything that intelligent voters would avoid in an election candidate.

The most famous folk-tale about Dick Cheney dates from 1820. In it, Cheney pursues his own interests and ends up invading a foreign nation under false pretences. In doing so, he severely destabilises the entire region and radicalises a new generation of terrorists against liberal-democratic society. Despite the thousands of civilian casualties, Cheney never apologises.

Of course, the various fictional exploits of Dick Cheney are too absurd as to be at all realistic! It is reassuring to know that such an outrage could never actually affect the real people of the world!

"One Dick Cheney is worth an unspecified amount of Iraqi citizens".

"We have nothing to fear but Dick Cheney himself."

16👍 4👎

Nationalism

The view that geography is the best means to determine how wealth should be distributed.

"Oh, it seems like our cavalry stopped here in 1786. Ted, your village is almost one hundred metres further down the road. Because of that, we're going to pursue the economic interests of those who built on land which the cavalry crossed, and actively compete against you, no matter how massive the wealth divide gets. Makes sense, doesn't it?"

- Cromwell20

"Nationalism is power hunger tempered by self-deception."

- George Orwell

"Nationalism ... is like cheap alcohol. First it makes you drunk, then it makes you blind, then it kills you."

- Dan Fried, US Diplomat

35👍 44👎