Penpalzone

Friendzone: "A state of being where a male inadvertently becomes a 'platonic friend' of an attractive female whom he was trying to intitate a romantic relationship."

The penpalzone is an even crueler fate. Not only does your would-be-significant-other consign you to a sad asexual existence, they also block any meetings in person to prevent any non platonic scenarios from arising, while still maintaining a "relationship" through texting or any other non-face to face communication.

If you're in the friendzone, don't complain about it or you may be relegated to the penpalzone. A life of loneliness and depression awaits you.

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Rape Lock

One of the easiest and direct ways to pull in a nightclub.

Step one: Approach target
Step two: Dance with target, leading him/her/it to the nearest wall
Step three: Spring both your arms out by her sides clamping the wall in a cobra like action
Step four: Firmly hold the rape lock, making sure there are no escape routes
Step five: You've pulled

Once you feel comfortable with this manoeuvre trying skipping straight to step three

How did you pull that 9 last night Gerry?

Gerry: Rape lock, 60% of the time it works without getting arrested

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Pie

1. A delicious pastry consisting of an outer crust with inside fillings. Very tasty.

2. A fat, gluttonous cunt (generic insult term for cunt, not literal meaning; vagina).

3. (Invernesian Origin) To completely reject or ignore a person or attempt at communication, normally deliberately. Or to not attend an event or place, normally deliberately.

Somebody that pies regularly (pier would also be acceptable)

1. Om nom nom, this pie is fucking weapon eh!

1. "I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried something, I'd be like, HEY! You get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!" Eric Cartman

2. Fuck off ya fat pie eh!

3. Hi, my name's David, I regularly pie rowing and the sesh!

Weapon slice of pie there from David, what a fucking pie

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Beaut

1. Aussie abbreviation for something or someone who is beautiful, used with one syllable rather than the standard three because they're lazy convicts

2. (Invernesian, or possible Scouse origin) Someone who has all the unfortunately personality and physical flaws of being ugly, smelly, extremely stupid, cheaply dressed, immoral and generally a cunt - generic not literal term. Ironically mostly used by beauts themselves, respectable people wouldn't touch the word with a shitty stick.

1. {Aussie approaches a woman at a bar} G'Day Sheila, you're a real beaut! Can we have sex?

No...

Well would you mind lying down while I have some?

2. Here, you, what ya saying?! Mun then ya beaut eh! I'll fucking smash ye! (Example of unprovoked unintelligible Ned behaviour and speech)

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Wankoverable

Something or someone that one would happily tug his (or her) horn to for sexual pleasure or pain. Normally in preference to pornography or in sadistic cases, snuff films.

1) That picture of your little sister is wankoverable

2) That tablecloth is so wankoverable, I mean it will conveniently catch all my semen and I don't have to clean up afterwards. By the way, thanks for inviting me over for dinner

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Jug Fuck

The act of decapitating a subject (victim) and then penetrating the exposed oesophagus, the blood is a handy lubricant and the subject is guaranteed to swallow. The origin of the name comes from the severing of the jugular veins within the neck.

1) I'm a creepy snuff film director and I'm going to rape and jug fuck that innocent woman because she refused to have sex with me.

2) Craig, would you jug fuck Keri?

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Rape Worm

Patented to hopefully be an Olympic Sport by London 2012.
This sport requires a small darkened room, smothered in industrial lubricant. There are two or more participants, the predator and the prey. All participants must have their hands binded to their feet. The aim of the game is for the predator to rape and ejaculate on/in the prey within a time limit or against another predator

1) Hey Tyler, wanna play rape worm? I know that girl hasn't given consent, but democratically she has to accept it because it's 2 against 1

2) And Italy have won the Olympic's first Gold for this event, Berlusconi's investment in the Italian rape worm team has paid off

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