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the earliest time any human should reasonably be expected to wake up. any earlier should be considered unnatural and should only be attempted if there is sufficient reward
"when i had to get up before 6:00 am for work i could feel my soul slowly being eroded away until i became a mindless drone"
86π 13π
A localised method of smoking cannabis, generally favoured by the chav drop-outs of south Somerset, however it can be found in many stoner circles due to its cost-effectiveness.
The apparatus required for a shottie comprises a rudimentary tube (usually crafted from a sheet of beer-can metal and electrical tape) and a cheap pop bottle. a hole is burned into the lower part of the bottle and the tube inserted, the bottle is then filled up to the hole with water. the overall impression of a completed shottie configuration is very similar to that of a homemade crack-pipe.
The end of the tube is then packed first with a 'plug' of tobacco, then topped with either dirt bar or herb, depending on the class of toker. this configuration is then smoked much in the same way that a bong might be smoked; however the lack of a gauze means that once the plug of tobacco and herb has been sufficiently burned away, the tokee then efforts a final tug, pulling the plug down through the tube and into the water.
This final expenditure of lung capacity, coupled with the instant blast of smoke to the lungs, provides the true 'magic' of the shottie, leaving the tokee lost in an instant haze, unable to breathe or communicate for a short while.
Excessive abuse of the shottie can be dangerous, and the user can genuinely feel the smoke ripping into his/her lungs when it hits. the use of low quality construction materials and/or cheap dirt bar exacerbates this fact.
"its 4 a.m, i've ingested far too much amphetamine, there is only one thing which could deliver me to the land of drowsiness. time for a shottie"
...chugalugachugaluga FLOOOOOOOOFFFFF!...
"uuuuuuuhhhhhnnnnnnnhhhhhhhh"
73π 33π
derogatory term used to express disbelief towards a personal request made by somebody who appears to be taking advantage of one's good nature
originated from the classic 90's movie 'Goodfellas', and as such must be said in a heavy Italian accent.
person 1: "mate, reckon you could give me a lift to the train station at 4am tomorrow? i'll buy you a packet of skittles"
person 2: "what do i look like, a schmuck-on-wheels?"
55π 12π
the only radio staion on GTA Vice City with any artistic merit whatsoever, and the only station which wasnt a blatant cash-in on 80s chart hits which just happened to make a nice marketable box-set
"mate, seriously, if you dont stop listening to seig-seig-sputnik and put espantoso back on im going to anally violate you with the playstation controller"
38π 17π
facial hair belonging to someone of a fair complexion.
so called because it is only visible when light is shone directly upon it.
dan's stealth beard was only visible during the day
14π 2π
"check it out dude, i got 17 cadburys creme eggs on five finger discount!"
178π 116π
similar in principle to the drive-by screwdrivering, except that the screwdriver is replaced by a watermelon (or similarly bulky fruit)
the act of the drive-by watermelon is as follows:
-head to a local hangout frequented by chavs/general delinquents (McDonalds car park is usually a good location)
-pick out an individual deserving enough to receive the impending assault
-slow down the vehicle and wind down the window, then lob said watermelon squarely at the recipient's groin
-you may need to speed up and escape at this point to avoid retaliation, however the watermelonee will most likely be on the floor in pain, and his acquaintances will generally be too confused and too busy laughing at their unfortunate chum to raise a counter-attack.
-retire to a safe distance
the tracksuit-wearing yobs got what they deserved for a change when we rolled past and administered a drive-by watermelon attack
6π 1π