putz

(Interjection): used especially to express mild disappointment, usually at not being able to join friends in an evening of debauchery.

Putz, I can't make it tonight.

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Mambo dogface to the banana patch?

Another way to ask your kindergarten teacher how to use the restroom: "May I use the restroom?" As defined by Steve Martin in "Philosophy/Religion/College/Language" on his Wild and Crazy Guy album.

I've got a great trick to play on a three year old kid. Whenever you're around them, talk wrong. So, now it's like his first day of school and he says to the teacher, 'Mambo dogface to the banana patch?'

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abolitionista

(noun) a Polish cocktail involving apple juice and zubrowka. Will result in your blacking out.

- Dude. What the hell happened last night? Did I drink any abolitionistas?
- Yeah, man. You blacked out.

Does the Pope shit in the woods?

Another answer for the obvious, "Obviously." Made famous by Steve Martin in his "Wild and Crazy Guy" hit record from the seventies.

In Philosophy you remember just enough to screw you up. You learn the important religious questions, 'Does the Pope shit in the woods?'

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creept

(noun) of, relating to, or being a creepy stage Dad, typically when holding a miniature Dachshund in his arms : annoyingly unpleasant.

Did you see that guy and his daughter at the Porcelain Dolls expo? What a creept.

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I remember when I had my first beer.

An effective insult. Used when someone says something sophomoric. Made famous by Steve Martin on his "Wild and Crazy Guy" album.

(Audience member): What's your mood watch say?
(Martin): Yeah, I remember when I had my first beer.

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