blackjack in the crack

A sexual position fit for the most suave gamblers of your closest shit-rate motel.

A man drops his pants and underwear and slaps his dick on a pack of playing cards. He pulls out a jack and ace and puts them at the top of the deck. A woman strips and shoves the pack of cards into her mouth. Now this is where the true skill is involved. The man says a short quippy joke while simultaneously slapping the woman’s cheek with his erect cock and spinning around with his ass cheeks directly I front of her face. If timed correctly, the snort from laughing at the joke combined with the dick slap will cause her to spit out the top two cards in the deck. Straight into the mans ass crack. Thus, blackjack in the crack.

Man 1: Wow, Daniel Craig really is suave on the set of Casino Royals (2006)

Man 2: Yea but he isn’t just some pg-13 lil bitch either. He found that wild chick Jade off set and got a blackjack in the crack. Heard he came like a stallion in heat.

Man 1: Damn, was this before or after he got his balls whacked by mads mikkelsen?

Man 2: Oh fuck off.

Shirley Temple

The most delicious of all the sex acts done by man and woman. To complete this sex maneuver, the female must be a virgin. The man takes a swig of sprite and holds it in his mouth, then pops the girl's cherry and spits the sprite in her vagina. The man then puts his hand over the vagina and shakes it up, then goes down on the girl, drinking the blood and sprite mix. And there you have it. A Shirley Temple.

I gave this virgin a Shirley Temple last night, and it is waaaaaaayyy better than the actual drink.

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