dole merchant

somebody who is unemployed and lives off benefits, and may not be actively seeking work

used in similar tone to describing a bin man as a "waste management consultant"

"What are you going to be when you grow older?"
- "A dole merchant, obviously"

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natter

1. to chat, talk or gossip
2. a conversation or discussion

My dad hasn't picked me up from school yet so I'm just sitting here with my friends and having a natter

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council cut

1. A very cheap haircut that's been done at the local barber's, instead of an expensive stylist.
2. Can be used to describe a haircut that looks poorly done, or is very short, as somebody on a council estate may stereotypically have.

"I hear you went to Toni & Guy to pay too much for your haircut"
"At least it's not a council cut, like yours!"