Tom Cruise

An insane actor who rose to fame in the '80s by starring in gay military recruitment ads. A high-ranking member of Scientology who can't stay married for more than 7 minutes, his ex-wives including Nicole Kidman and Katie Holmes. Refuses to use stuntmen, often trying to commit suicide by jumping off planes, flying helicopters, climbing on the side of skyscrapers, and planning to go to space with the help of Elon Musk.

Did you hear about what crazy stunt Tom Cruise is doing? He jumped off a cliff while riding a motorcycle at full speed!

Jack Reacher

Protagonist and titular character of a series of crime-thriller novels by Lee Child. An ex-military policeman, a drifter who can be distinguished by his height (6"5') and physique. Has a relationship in virtually every book and his brother, Joe, works for the Treasury Department and deals in breaking up counterfeit operations. Reacher earned a ton of medals during his time in the military and is the only non-marine to win the Wimbledon Cup in shooting. Often finds himself dealing with all sorts of bad guys and the authorities.

Police Officer 1: Who the fuck is that?
Police Officer 2: It's Jack Reacher. One hell of a military policeman.
Police Officer 1: Bring him in for questioning. Looks real dangerous.

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