Evinrude

An Evinrude is when an individual, male or female, reaches directly behind them and strokes the penis of a another individual. The motion must closely mimic the movements one would use on the control shaft of an Evinrude outboard motor, most commonly found on a jonboat or similar craft.

Susie gave me an Evinrude while we were standing in line for a Plan B pill.

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Judas Dump

While on a date, you are overcome with intense diarrheal pain and are forced to excuse yourself from the table. Being gone for more than the standard 3 minute urination time period, you accept that your date has realized you are taking a shit so you take your sweet ass time. You then come back to the table only to find an empty chair, a half eaten tuna tartare and an unpaid bill. Your asscheeks are still greasy and your night is ruined.

Tom’s only chance at true love was thwarted by an unavoidable Judas Dump. The betrayal by both his stomach and the love of his life left him heartbroken.

Jizzard

The act of four men masturbating into a box fan with the sole objective of blasting jizz onto a lucky participant’s face.

The setup for a proper jizzard is crucial. One must first select a lucky participant to place their face 12-16 inches away from an electric box fan. Next, four male volunteers gather around the box fan, two on each side. The male volunteers must attempt to ejaculate into the fan simultaneously thus hurling a blizzard of jizz at the participant’s face. It is encouraged to don proper safety goggles during this activity.

Betty showed up to work today with an eyepatch. When asked what happened, she simply replied “jizzard,” silly amateur must’ve forgotten her safety goggles.

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Boston Bearclaw

The act of firmly grabbing a woman's breast while masturbating.

Jameson's mother was too tired for sex so I had to settle for a Boston Bearclaw.

Cuckcherry

The act of male individual enjoying deep, primal arousal observing his wife in the midst of raw intercourse with a large man while listening to the smash hit “Crazy Bitch” by the band Buckcherry.

The gentleman who just bought the last pair of True Religion jeans invited me to a Cuckcherry at his condo this evening.

Beluga Pod

A situation where an individual finds one’s self involved in an orgy of three or more large white women. Although rare, a pod of overweight albino women is recommended but blondes will suffice.

Dude. On my last trip to the Great White North, I found myself balls deep in a Beluga Pod.

Panini Press

The act of one placing one’s flaccid penis on the glass of a scanner/copier and firmly closing the lid. If done properly, the penis will look like a firmly pressed panini sandwich.

“What happened to Steven today?”

“He accidentally hit “reply all” mid panini press, boss got jealous.”