Golden Field goal

When a man straddles a woman on a toilet, stands facing her. The woman sitting with her legs spread in a V shape, the man tries to still between her legs and into the toilet while giving a simultaneous golden shower to the face.

The first time I tried to make a golden field goal, I slipped on my second step. So I shit on both of her legs and she was covered in piss from one set of lips to the other.

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E-Brake

When a male who has been masturbating reaches climax, pulls back on the penis hard (like an e-brake handle) and attempts to shoot his ejaculate into his own mouth

It was a little awkward explaining to my wife that I wouldn't kiss her because I came so hard earlier that I accidentally gave myself an E-Brake...