ass manage

A person or behavior that brings the concept of micro manage to its logical culmination, that is, one who subjects complete and total anal domination over someone's ass or a collective group of asses.

colloquial
What a pimp does.

THOMAS: "My retardistic boss said that not only did I forget to properly format my TPS report, but I also used the stapler incorrectly in attaching it to the memo and should begin using Rogaine to 'offset the onset of premature balding'."
RICHARD: "Wow. It sounds like you're getting ass managed."
HARRISON: "Yes, this guy is definitely an ass manager."

I have to ass manage these hoes on 21st and Lewis.

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crustacean transportation

1. disseminating one's infection of crabs amongst a small group of people generally through participating in a Bacchanal orgy.

2. figuratively one who is involved in an overabundance of screwing and/or engaging one's member in that of a lower social caste.

Thomas: "I heard that Michael partook of the optional employee debauch last night."
Richard: " That is also what I heard."
Harrison: "Yes, he was the crustacean transportation."

"William, I don't mind you screwing around, but when it's with 7 other men at the same time, you're basically a crustacean transportation."
"Patrick, you need to understand that I want to be in that position."
"You might as well start barking because you are definitely sounding like a bitch."

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c-dock

1. Colloquial abbreviation for "cock dock".

2. The act of anchoring one's unit to a person or object, especially for an extended period of time.

3. To figuratively obstruct one's flow or generally f*ck things up.

Thomas: "Did you see Evelyn from accounting last night on the corner of 48th and Weston dressed up like a ho?"
Richard: "Yes, I did notice that."
Harrison: "Boy, I'd like to c-dock that."

"William, I was quite enjoying Philip's t-funkshun until your gay ass showed up and c-docked the whole thing."
"Patrick, you are simply jealous because my gay ass is the shiznit."

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queerage

1. a quantitative means of determining the level of gayness in an area at any given time.

2. denoting an aggregate or amount of homosexuality.

Thomas: "Jennings is wearing his assless chaps at work today."
Richard: "I did notice a definite peek in the queerage."
Harrison: "Yes, I also noticed that."

"Damn, it's like a sausage festival in this bitch. This queerage is dick."

"Patrick, you need to stop watching these damn Rachel Ray marathons."
"William, I understand that, but my gayness compels me to."
"I just can't deal with this queerage, Patrick"
"Dammit, William, then you can't deal with me or the junk in my trunk."

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Stanley front loader

Strenuously engaging one's johnson in self-stimulation, especially using a power tool.

Thomas: "Dennis said he would be doing some carpentry work this weekend."
Richard: "Personally, this worries me."
Harrison: "Yes, Dennis is likely to use the stanley front loader."

gawful

colloquial: God awful

Thomas: "Did you see Pat's new plaid sports coat?"
Richard: "OMG, it makes my eyes cross."
Harrison: "Yes, it is gawful."

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Cornwallis

one who willingly surrenders to an act of self-degradation, generally through the act of desperate, rigid sexual contact

Thomas: "I heard that Marcia from accounting showed up at Martin's for the GBW."
Richard: "That is also what I heard."
Harrison: "Yes, she is definitely a Cornwallis."

"Make love to me, William. I am your Cornwallis."
"You certainly know how to set the mood, Patrick."
"I know. Now grab the whips and chains."

Gentleman, steer clear of Paris. She is not only the crustacean transportation but also a Cornwallis...the city, I mean.

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