10% Toilet

When you take so long on the toilet, you use up 10% of your iPhone battery playing games.

That was one hell of a chilli last night bob, I just had a 10% toilet!

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Museum Nemesis

When visiting a museum or gallery, you will encounter at least one Museum Nemesis. These are the people that you see over and over again that inconvenience you repeatedly during your visit. You can tell your Museum Nemesis by some of the following traits:

-They will prevent you from seeing displays by getting up close to them, blocking your view
-They often bump into you by stepping backwards without looking. They will rarely apologise or even make eye contact after doing so
-You will never lose them. Even when you think you've lost them, they'll turn up at the next display you wish to look at
-When visiting the museum cafe they will be in front of you in the queue. They will almost certainly take the item you wanted, and it will be the last one

You museum nemesis can often be defeated by an 'accidental' tripping down some stairs. Museum stairs are often made from marble or other very hard stone.

Jim: That stupid bitch got in my way AGAIN!

Bob: Yeah man, that's your Museum Nemesis

Jim: How I get rid of her?

Bob: Trip her down some stairs, that's how I got rid of mine

Jim: You mean that screaming kid you said just fell over?

Bob: That's the one!

Jim: ...Awesome!

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