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Electronic paperweight

1. When your phone is in a place where it doesn't have service.

2. When your phone has been cut off due to lack-of-phone-bill-pay

1.
Guy 1: Dude, want to go camping?
Guy 2: Sure, but I'm not bringing my cell phone
Guy 1: Why not, bro?
Guy 2: The lake is a dead zone... My phone is an electronic paperweight up there

2.
Guy 1: Brosef, I tried calling you yesterday but it went straight to voicemail... Turn your phone on!
Guy 2: It is on, but I forgot to pay my phone bill. My phone's an electronic paperweight right now

by Dave-Landon May 28, 2011


liquor store diet

when one forsakes going to the pub for fear of the resulting credit card bill, and instead buys all their booze from the liquor store

I can't believe I'm back at the pub; I'm on a liquor store diet

by Dave-Landon April 12, 2011

8👍 4👎


midgard serpent

When a guy's dick is so big, he wraps it around her neck, and while choking her, cums in her eye.

The wife had a hard time getting to sleep tonight, so I whipped my dick out and gave her the old Midgard Serpent. Bet she didn't see that cumming!

by Dave-Landon November 17, 2018


Mental Rash

The raw mental state created from repeated exposure to unfavorable conditions, as often happens when you dislike your job.
Also, the unfavorable condition itself that causes such a state.

I'm so glad I quit my job today, it's been leaving me with a severe mental rash.
or
I hate my job so much. It's nothing but a mental rash

by Dave-Landon October 24, 2016


Indian job interview

When an employer, quite often East Indian, accepts an applicant for a job interview by asking him to come in for a trial shift to see if he's worth hiring.

"Hey man, congrats on the new job!"
"Thanks, but I don't have the job yet, just an Indian job interview"

by Dave-Landon September 3, 2015


spawnsire

Major source of an emotion or abstract concept.

Lady Gaga is the spawnsire of suck.

by Dave-Landon March 21, 2011


Earthworm Jim

When a guy jerks himself off until he cums, but while it's still soft enough to bend it around and cum in his own ass.

Earthworm Jim, he's such a groovy guy
Earthworm Jim, he rockets through this guy

by Dave-Landon November 17, 2018