Hagen

“Hagen” is derived from the word “Hag.” A “Hagen” is a member of substantial subset of the female population. They are middle aged, almost morbidly overweight, with short hair, dyed black or very dark brown. Members are strikingly similar in appearance. It’s only upon close examination that they can be differentiated. Hagens are often caregivers, such as nurses or teachers. A typical Hagen would be 5’4”, 240 lbs, and 54 years old.

Almost universally, they claim to “like themselves” in spite of obvious indications of low self-esteem.

"Wow, there were like five Hagens lined up at the counter wating for free ice cream."

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