Gettysburg Sausage

A foot-long top-cut hot dog roll filled snugly with a breaded and deep-fried type 3 or 4 on the Bristol Stool Scale.

Davenport: Did you see the yokel farmhands eating Gettysburg Sausages for lunch?

Battlefield Tourist: Yeah, I hope they choked on them! They were too lazy to help me after they saw my family and I being robbed by street gang members in Gettysburg.

768👍 14👎

Gettysburger

A grilled 1/2 lb. slab of horse manure in between a kaiser roll.

I was driving to an important city and I stopped in Gettysburg because I really really had to take a dump. Anyway, I saw this place that served "Gettysburgers" and all the locals raved about them, they were awful, they smelled like a cesspool full of night soil.

607👍 11👎