dowl

to mumble interminably about any obsolete work of literature out of print since 1878, whilst playing random but worrying flute and writing your life story simultaneously with both hands. Ambidextrous? Fucking crazy.

"Is everything okay? You look pale."
"I don't know. I've just been Dowled, and need to rest my numbed mind."
"Poor unfortunate you. Those rogues are everywhere."

5👍 4👎

bovidence

potentially hazardous items of foodstuff wrappery that are destined to clash headlong with a bovate's sense of right and wrong. And bring you immense grief for, (wait for it), no apparent sensical reason.

"Did you enjoy that twisty fries and milkshake, oh downtrodden colleague of mine?"
"Yes, it war tres filling, though a little wrong."
"Be sure to hide the bovidence."
"I shall. Thank you for the valuable advice."

3👍 3👎

paprika

a complete and utter prick. there is none other more prickular on the face of the planet. Comprendez?

"Alan stole his cousin's car and got pulled over drunk whilst delivering four stolen tellys to his mate's gaff, like a complete paprika."

12👍 21👎

Anus McAnus

An utter stronzo, and foolish wonder. It is regularly amazing how ignorant this person can be. Often wearing all-over designer gear, to prove how 'special' they are. A cock.

"What an Anus McAnus from the clan McAnus. An offensive to the organic legions."

27👍 12👎

Hospital Appointment

Ideal chosen excuse for having the morning off work, ideally to attend an interview for a rewarding job. Completely throws any bovate suspicion as hypochondria is accepted as the norm.

"I won't be in 'til 12 today as I have a physio appointment on my dodgy knee."
"Oh okay. I hope you feel better afterwards."
"Oh I will, you bove. I will. Lie-ins are truly therapeutic."

5👍 3👎

super duper saturday

When, even though you are forced to work a Saturday, the day is exempt from bovinity by the abscence of bovates and is filled with coffee, breaks, chat, surfing, crosswords, croissants,papers and fun.

"I hate working bloody Saturdays!"
"Yes, don't we all but it is a Super Saturday."
"Hurrah! No Boves!"
"Do you want anything from O'Brien's?"

4👍 3👎

FRAGON

Vehicle for intoxication via the consumption of crushed apple segments combined with varying chemicals and bubbles. Available in can, large can, pint or bottle format.

"Suppin on a big fat spliff full of rocky -
A fragon in me hand, be's makin me feel grand."
(DAMIEN DEMPSEY)

4👍 8👎