Delilah

A white iPhone, known for her delays in sending texts causing a late reply and tremendous confusion. A homewrecker, friendship destroyer, slow, drugged phone who's wild and autocorrects your normal words into the weirdest trash. Although you hate her, you love her. She's your everything.

"I hate everything"
"That's not nice..."
"Except you"
"Took ya long enough"
"Sorry Delilah sent it late"

Or

"So I got a new vagina today"
"What¿?"
"Vacation*"
"Wtf"
"Va backup*"
"Ummm?"
"Vaccum!!! Dammit Delilah!"
"Delilah is high"

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