To be made of dookie. Just a really bad person.
Jim Bob: Did you see that girl who wrote #plis on her Instagram?
Dale Derkson: Yeah.
Jim Bob: Apparently, she eats babies!
Dale Derkson: Doesn't surprise me. She also regularly cheats on her husband... with me.
Jim Bob: DUDE! I am not okay with that.
Dale Derkson: That's why I shot you.
Jim Bob: Oh dukes! Is that what this red stuff on my shirt is.
Dale Derkson: What did you think it was?! What else could that possible be?
Jim Bob: ...strawberry jam
Dale Derkson: Why...on earth... would it be strawberry jam?
Jim Bob: I don't know! I'm kind of a messy eater. Don't really have my life together, you know? Sometimes feel like I just need someone to talk to about... what are you dong?
Dale Derkson: Taking a picture of you and me for the gram, #plis, you know. Try to stop bleeding so much: I want to get in close for the shot. My phone only does like...narrow frame selfies. I don't have that new Iphone you see Will smith with.
Jim Bob: *deep sigh* okay. Kind of losing consciousness, so
Dale Derkson: Say *Jim Bob collapses* Bro, you're being really rude right now. Bet all your posts end with #plis.
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