Four Loko

A strong malt beverage with 12% alcohol content. Due to the rising numbers in illegal mexican immigrants, it makes sense that we are finally marketing malt beverages toward people of mexican or latin american decent. Extremely cheap, usually $3, so now everyone can afford to get wasted. Its closest relative would be Steel Reserve 211, Joose, or Sparks, however Four Loko is much more delicious. Four Loko can be found in a variety of different delicious flavors such as orange, fruit-punch, grape, watermelon, and blue raspberry.

Four Loko got its name because it sends the person who consumed it into FOUR STAGES OF CRAZY:

Stage 1: Tipsy (loud, might stumble, laugh)
Stage 2: Drunk (embarassing, stumbling, slight slur)
Stage 3: Wasted (heavy slur, falling, hitting on fat girls)
Stage 4: Black Out (no ability to speak, vomiting, waking up next to a fat girl, memory loss)

Thank you to our "South of the Border" friends for inspiring such an amazing drink.

Caution: Men should not consume more than 3 at the most. Women should not consume more than 1. Although 12% alcohol content is not extremely high, the crack that is injected inside the can after bottling is finished sends your brain into a Fiesta you are sure to never remember.

Pedro: "Yo Ese, wanna get some four loko?"

Garcia: " Ay ya ya, I don't know buddy, that shit fucked me up last time. Remember? I went home with the donkey girl"

Pedro: "Si senor. I think I am going to get some. I want to find a girl like donkey girl"

Garcia: "Ay dios mio!" (Oh My God)

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