New Jersey

A nasty brown stain between New York and Pennsylvania, with twice the corruption and none of the charm of either. The butt of every joke about the East Coast. The state that makes the rest of the northeast feel good about itself. A state whose residents have giant egos for no discernible reason and consider the urban wasteland seen from the Turnpike or Parkway as "scenery". Kinda like Connecticut if someone had urinated all over it and converted half of it into a toxic waste dump. A place where green air and glowing rivers are as common as big press-on fingernails and fake Luis Vuitton purses. The average IQ is "functionally retarded" but don't tell them that, because the mongoloid greaseball douchebags who inhabit "Joisey" will start a fight over anything. I'd be that miserable too if I had to live there. A fetid sewer of a state.

I just died and descended to the ninth circle of hell, where I am chained to a wall of fire and flogged with spike-covered whips for eternity. But hey, at least I'm not in New Jersey.

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