Slowling

A person who moves so slowly that it compromises the sanity of all those around him/her, leading to chaos and destruction.

"Why are you such a bleeding, dirty mess?"

"There was a slowling who held up traffic at the end of Route 3. It took him an hour and a half just to merge onto 128. The other drivers got so infuriated that they rioted, and my car got overturned. I had to crawl the rest of the way to work."