Pubic's Cube

A fiendishly difficult chastity mechanism

"Sir Andrew The Knave stood wearily in front of the Lady of The Lake, but by the strength of the old gods he knew he'd made it..
Years of searching were suddenly worthwhile...
tears rolled down his face for he knew that his lifelong quest for the holy grail was over -

However after three unsuccessful attempts at her Pubic's Cube, it was suddenly clear that he should never have have drank that second horn of mandrakes piss ...

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Pubic Scare

The quite frankly appallingly unkempt thatch of vaginal foliage which 'welcomes' an unfortunate traveller to the NEVER-EVER Regions of the female anatomy.

"....Let it be said that whilst Viscount Greaves III was well documented as the pioneer of Wokingham's industrial revolution and also noted in society as at the forefront of 19th Century liberal Reform, he did indeed drop a bollock when he uncharacteristically turned a blind eye to the hideous crop of Pubic Scare which punctuated Baroness Felonia's staff entrance. However this turned out to be the least of his worries, as he found out rather too late that Baroness Felonia's real name was Dênnis and 'she' had a penchant for 'Pâtisserie D'Orreilles' (See Aural Sex , 'Hearing Aids') ...
That was the last anyone heard of Viscount Greaves III..."
From 'Nose Sex Please - We're British! - A History Of High Profile British Sexual Blunders from 1745-1994 " By Someone in Ealing who wishes to remain anonymous