Candle cock

Any condition that leads to your penis having the sensation of a burning tip.

I should have been more careful on Saturday night. That girl has given me a definite case of candle cock.

Splaff

A splaff is a person that every pub owner in town knows. He or she will have invariably been barred from most of the pubs but ultimately the pub will change hands and the unsuspecting owner will let the splaff in without trouble.

Everybody knows exactly who the splaff is when they meet them at night but due to state dependent memory have little memory of them when they are sober.

The place got trashed last night. That splaff knocked over tables and glasses. They're not getting in here again.

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